i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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