You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
