i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
