Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
