Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
