There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
