I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
