I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
