Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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