So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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