either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
