I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
