The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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