Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
