first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
