He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
