winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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