She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
