you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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