the new term for farting is butt boxing.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
