Well apparently he's into motor boating.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize