Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
