I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
