No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
