Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
