You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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