I have demons in me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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