he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
