i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
