Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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