am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
