Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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