I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
