when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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