when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize