do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i drank out of a bidet.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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