Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
