umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
