it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
