True but thats because hes a fetus.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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