we're blogging at a bar
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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