So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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