Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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(917): View more from New York City

My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.

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(682): View more from Texas

why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?

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(618): View more from Illinois

You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

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(562): View more from California

My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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(925): View more from California

He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime

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(442): View more from California

I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass

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