I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
