Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
