At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize