do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't trust your balls anymore.