Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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  (480): get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch http://tfl.nu/ncix
  Replies (17) Good night (1080) Bad night (3080)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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  (202): i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left. http://tfl.nu/4tq4
  Replies (10) Good night (1053) Bad night (2612)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?

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  (253): DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge? http://tfl.nu/bwm6
  Replies (41) Good night (6778) Bad night (888)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.

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  (316): My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch. http://tfl.nu/qemq
  Replies (15) Good night (1282) Bad night (4320)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning

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  (609): at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning http://tfl.nu/nizm
  Replies (18) Good night (5193) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days

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  (412): Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days http://tfl.nu/6wcx
  Replies (9) Good night (4493) Bad night (949)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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  (609): I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/cpqs
  Replies (5) Good night (1690) Bad night (921)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again

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  (419): Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again http://tfl.nu/9um4
  Replies (17) Good night (867) Bad night (2172)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm trying to make a sex playlist

  (916): View more from California

  record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

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  (510): I'm trying to make a sex playlist (916): record yourself crying and put it on a loop. http://tfl.nu/f4y5
  Replies (12) Good night (3367) Bad night (1310)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch

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  (336): You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch http://tfl.nu/vf66
  Replies (3) Good night (2464) Bad night (696)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1

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  (231): I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1 http://tfl.nu/tow3
  Replies (7) Good night (1240) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.

  (1+61): View more from

  Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?

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  (+61): You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek. (1+61): Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before? http://tfl.nu/tcy4
  Replies (11) Good night (1949) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women

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  (808): there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women http://tfl.nu/4eji
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (292)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.

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  (978): I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out. http://tfl.nu/uwk8
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night

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  (786): I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night http://tfl.nu/4u0f
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (618)

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