Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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