I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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