I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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