you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
