I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
