is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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