We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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