i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
