would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
did i just pee glitter
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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