ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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