Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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